*If you do not like swear words then please don’t read on, this is my rude version of why I love autumn.*
You gotta love Autumn really. That transition between Summer and Winter. Wonderful! Not too hot yet not too cold.
But it’s not just that. Here are some more real reasons why Autumn is bloody fantastic! (if you haven’t already, check out the clean version here)
Wasps f*ck off finally!
If you are anything like me I f*cking hate wasps. Always appear at the most inconvenient times like when you’re driving down the road or picking the kids up at school. I seem to attract them wherever I go and I’m super allergic to them. Even when I hear that ‘pathetic’ buzzing noise they make I’m off down the street quicker than Usain Bolt, leaving whatever I have behind, which is usually the children. Now its getting colder these little b*stards disappear into hiding and I love the feeling of walking down the street knowing you’re not going to be attacked every 2 seconds with a wasp all up in your grill. Bees I’m super cool about, wasps just hate life and do everything in their power to destroy your day.
Sandals are in the back of the cupboard once again.
Good. I hate feet. I hate looking down and seeing them little wriggly toes out on display. I cannot stand f*cking feet! My fear is that bad I have to wear socks 24/7, the only time there’s no socks on my feet is either in the bath or shower but as soon as I come out there’s a pair of socks straight on my mingers within 5 second.
There’s less chance of a trip to the beach.
Don’t get me wrong, the beach with the kids is lovely, but that b*starding sand gets everywhere! You try and have a picnic and suddenly there’s sand in EVERYTHING even if it was no where near it and you find yourself eating an egg mayo and sand sandwich. Wet sand gets stuck to everything, even in your cleavage and you seriously start questioning how it even got in there. You get home and you have to spend 30-45 minutes hovering your car as it’s now practically a beach. The water as well, why is it always so cold regardless of how hot it is?!
“Mummy come in the sea with us!”
“No soz Mummy’s happy here eating her sand and egg mayo sandwich!”
‘Its too cold’ is an acceptable excuse to not go out.
F*ck standing in the freezing cold for a couple hours, shivering your tits off just to grab a couple things from town or to go have a couple with your pals. I’d rather be sat at home with my cup of tea wrapped up in my blanket watching whatever sh*t the sky box has to offer. Maybe that’s me just getting old, long gone are the days of drinking games and dresses with heels. Or maybe children did that.
Yup I’m gonna blame the children.
You can hide messy hair days with a hat.
A big yes for hats! You’re in a rush, you’ve no milk left for a cuppa, you’re desperate and need your caffeine fix but you’ve literally just rolled out of bed. There’s a solution for that, a hat. These genius little things have saved me from many situations, many times I’ve seen myself sleeping in for the school run and my hairs a greasy, frizzy mess and I’ve no time to shower as my children are demanding things every 5 seconds or they have lost 200 things they need for school, a simple bobble hat makes it look like I’m not some disorganised idiot. I hate mornings.
And there we have it! I’m sure some of you can relate to some of these!
Have any reasons of your own? Let me know!
Until next time,